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Page 83: Fuck That

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007

A few weeks ago Owen had a good idea involving Mustache Man that would allow him to go out as a bit of a hero, which I planned to use, but here’s how I started my e-mail to Owen which included the script for Page 83 –

“Decided to just get rid of Mustache Man quickly like this. I think it’s cooler this way and it saves a bit of time, time that we badly need. I hate it in movies when the characters are always so fucking retarded and allow dangerous things to happen and bad guys or potential bad guys to live and it always bites ‘em in the ass and somebody dies because of it, so I like what Murdo does here, where he says ‘Screw that stupid shit’ and does the job.”

The graphic novel must end by Page 112, because it must end with the fourth issue, which will be 32 pages at most, ending with Page 112. We have a LOT to cover in the next 29 pages, so that was one reason for getting rid of Principal Howard (Mustache Man) quickly like this.

CLICK HERE to see my mouse drawn MS Paint sketch of today’s page!

Want to donate $1.50 to me and Owen without it costing you even one dime, let alone 15? Just download the free PDFs of Last Blood on WOWIO and we get 50 cents per issue (three up so far). The issues include WOWIO-exclusive bonus features, most notably the first drawing of Rage. (WOWIO is currently only available to United States residents.)

72 Responses to “Page 83: Fuck That”

  1. Krasno Says:

    I agree, I hate when those things happen in movies, good to see that Murdo has some common sense. Way better than the guy dying as a hero, that would have been a bit cliché.

  2. Lydia Says:

    Didn’t see that one coming.

    Question. Can the vampires manipulate their bodies differently than a normal person? I’m asking because Murdo’s mouth is freaking big and his teeth are crazy huge.. so I’m thinking maybe the vampires are a bit more flexible that way (ex. stretching his mouth like so).

  3. Bobby Crosby Says:

    “Can the vampires manipulate their bodies differently than a normal person?”

    Hadn’t really thought about it, but I guess they can, yes.

  4. Zac Says:

    First time commentor, long time reader. Finally a smart person who kills the person everyone knows will be a zombie soon. Best zombie/vampire story ever.

  5. darkyboy Says:

    im on the “best zombie/vampire story” wagon there!!!

  6. SEA Says:

    first time commenting..
    i agree with Zac and Krasno…someone with enough common sense to just kill the infected…

  7. Chris Says:

    I agree that its stupid to allow MM to live especially with a big scary night battle coming up soon but this was still unexpected. Which made this such a cool scene. Too bad he didn’t wait till Grady was farther away. The other humans are going to be very wary around Murdo after this.

    I was curious, how do the other more “experienced” vampires treat newly turned one? I know now that the world has about ended its not so important but if all of them were as touchy as Murdo seems to be now, did they constantly guard them to keep them from doing impulsive vampire things?

    One more thing, I notice that Murdo’s eyeball seems to be black now with a light(yellow?) pupil, Val and Math seems to as well, do all vampires have this kind of distinguishing feature or is that just how you draw them? It seems like a dangerous feature that could allow anyone to tell you apart from humans.

  8. Pasta_and_Tacos Says:

    You noticed them with sunglasses on, right?

  9. Unati. Says:

    Uh oh…

    Hmm, doesn’t Murdo changing make things worse in the long run?
    I mean, it gives him more strength to help now, but later, it will mean that there are more vampires to feed…and less to feed them.

    This is a fantastic story – such a brilliant idea. I loved the plot twist that zombies are starved vampires..

  10. Northstar Says:

    Good thing Murdo was smart enough to get ‘ahead’ of that problem. :D

    lol sorry had to pun. I wonder if, in a way, he found drinking his mom’s blood comforting. Like she was giving him life again. That’s how I might see it anyway.

    Or maybe I’m being way sappy here.

  11. thrin Says:

    Why not make it five? Don’t strangle the expression.

  12. Retromancer Says:

    I really am a fan of the artwork in this comic, but the last panel of this page is the first time I have to complain. Murdo’s teeth are rediculously huge. I don’t know if he got his perspective screwed up or whatever, but it’s freakin’ laughable.

  13. Crow Says:

    This page leaves me with two words, ‘Fuck Yeah!’

  14. Anko Says:

    I adore Grady’s expression in the last panel. This page really is awesome. I can’t wait for the next one!

  15. Lore Says:

    you only have another 29 pages? well so far it’s awesome. one of those storys you don’t want to end. I think you’ve got a lot to do in only a few short pages though! question for you, have you thought what your going to do once it’s over? because you’ve got some excellent characters in there, and I’d love to see some story’s on their backgroud history, pre fall of humanity kinda thing.

    totally agree with zak and darkyboy here, definate best zombie story ever! totally didn’t see murdo becoming vamp, he rock’s even more than he did before, which was alot!

  16. Teardropcatcher Says:

    Whoa. o_o *stares at Murdo’s mouth* Now those are some teeth! XD Really funny this page, I especially liked the close-up on Murdo. You’re right, pathetic bastards always screw things up, so why bother? Plus, MM really irks me (meaning, he serves his purpose rather well).
    You know, the herd-like attitude of the zombies remind me of King’s “Cell”, where all the insane people developed a herd-conscience. I know it’s different, so don’t bite me, lol.
    Awesome page today. Lots of love from Europe!

  17. Mewt Says:

    Murdo. Fuckin’. Wins.

  18. Kez Says:

    I wish I could look that cool when I say “I need a sword.” :(

    Yay for deaths of characters that needed to die!

  19. Jeremiah Says:

    I’m just not ‘feeling’ this page. While I like the idea of getting rid of the excess baggage, it seemed to be executed poorly, especially the last two panels. The “You know what?” Could have been placed in the second-to-last, and “Fuck it.”(Fuck that seems awkward) while he’s lobbing MM’s head off in the last panel. The “I’m not taking the chance” seems extra, as it’s implied, both by the “Fuck it.” and the fact that MM’s turning.

    The direction that Murdo is slashing MM’s head off seems to be wrong as well, because of the second last one. Aside from the static pose(He looks like he’s gently poking him and his head is flying off–the sense of power and movement in the slash is not convincing), The direction that Grady looks at Murdo implies that Murdo should come from the OTHER direction, with Murdo’s back to the audience. If there was supposed to be a long silence or something between a lack of a response from Murdo and the head going bye bye, then that’s another issue altogether.

    Of course, something like this would be fixed in the movie, but it’d be nice if the comic seemed more polished. There are quite a few awkward instances like this, and it really prevents one from enjoying the comic as much as they should.

  20. Marieke Says:

    Ok, there’s sooo Much I want/need to say about this page but it has left me dumb-struck and about ‘I need a sword’ I even got goosebumps. And it takes a LOT to turn me into a puddle of drool over something, but you did it anyway!!


    And indeed! Yay for a sensible killing here!! Just in time! WHOOT! Suddenly, I’m a huge Murdo fan ;)

    take care peeps! You’re doing a more then wonderful job!!

    The HummingBird ~ here one moment gone the next….

  21. Bigfan Says:

    This is great stuff! Best webcomic ive ever read, and i read alot of em. Sad to hear that it all has to end soon :)
    Do a sequel, where you go in depth about the 12th century mini zombie invasion in (bulgaria? or romania?).
    Anyways, big kudos to you dudes!

  22. MJK Says:

    Goddammit, this comic might very well be the most important document of the 21st century.

  23. IGOR Says:

    I have 2 swords, but that 1 looks realy cool

  24. Pablo618 Says:

    fuck, I didn’t expect that

  25. Wolfgang Says:

    Idk, you don’t really see the sword, just the handle and the sheath which looks like it was hastily made. Of course I could be wrong and the sheath is the actual shape of the sword, in which case my initial expression was the same as IGOR’s. The sheath at least has a “nothing fancy, just gets the job done” feel which I enjoy.

  26. vo Says:

    Owen, One question. Did you watch Fright Night recently? Cuz that’s what Murdo’s mouth reminds me of.

  27. Will Says:

    Murdos mouth reminds me exactly like the vamps in 30 Days of Night

    kick ass page though

  28. Nekokaburi Says:

    Actually I kinda liked how in Dawn of the Dead (the original) one of the characters got bitten, and his buddy sat there in the room with him until he died, waiting to shoot him when he got back up. It was one of the more powerful scenes in the movie.

  29. Guen Says:

    How are all the other vampires going to feel about this new mouth to feed? Murdo was one of their very small food source, and now he’s not only useless as food but needs to be fed as well.

  30. Nekokaburi Says:

    Guen, Bobby already said it’s not a concern, as vamps need very little to survive. Besides, do you think that ALL of the vampires are going to survive the fight?

  31. Bobby Crosby Says:

    Read my comments on the last page for detailed answers to almost every question that’s been asked so far on this page.

    “you only have another 29 pages?”

    For the first four issue mini-series, the first graphic novel, the first film’s story, yes. As I’ve said many times, sequels and prequels are planned, but not guaranteed. The comic needs to make a lot of money for us to make more of it. The issues have been selling decently through Diamond, but there’s certainly room for improvement. Call your local stores and ask for “Last Blood” from Blatant Comics. Also, if you’re in America, DOWNLOAD THE ISSUES ON WOWIO, which can actually make us even more money than sales through comic book shops.

    “question for you, have you thought what your going to do once it’s over?”

    It can go on forever. Hundreds of pages are planned just for the prequels alone.

    “The direction that Grady looks at Murdo implies that Murdo should come from the OTHER direction, with Murdo’s back to the audience.”

    No, it doesn’t. I’d love to just leave it at that and not waste more time on this, but fine, more detail: Look at Panel 5 — Grady is helping Principal Howard walk. Grady and Howard are in that same position in Panel 6, except now Grady is turning his head back to look at Murdo who has now walked past them. As you’ll see on the next page, Murdo was about to jump off the roof, but then he decides to kill Howard before that, so he turns back around, now looking at the backs of Howard and Grady, and he has to come from the side you see in the last panel because otherwise Grady would have been in the way. He didn’t want to waste time arguing with Howard and Grady about it so he just did it super fast from behind, so Howard didn’t even see it coming.

    “If there was supposed to be a long silence or something between a lack of a response from Murdo and the head going bye bye, then that’s another issue altogether.”

    Between the last two panels Murdo stops walking, turns around while taking out his sword, runs up and then you see what he does.

    About the pacing of the lines: I wanted it to seem very fast, Murdo’s choice to kill Mustache. I didn’t want to set it up at all by having any of the last line in the previous panel. Wanted it to come out of nowhere.

    “The ‘I’m not taking the chance’ seems extra”

    I needed him to say that for Grady’s sake, to just hammer home the point to Grady about why he’s doing this. Grady’s his best friend and I didn’t want him acting too mean and insane around him. This was also a case of needing to pack a ton of stuff into a short amount of space because we only have 29 pages left after this to tell a big story. Can’t waste time having Murdo talk to Grady about this right after to explain it more.

  32. Bloodwrath Says:

    One question… why allow MM to live until this point? Is there going to be some reprocussion for Murdo killing him, rather than having him be killed by Math/the amputation? It just seems strange to me that this character which had no worth to live until this point sticks around all this way only to die anyway. He may as well have died during the amputation.

  33. KayRis Says:

    @Lore- Bobby has said that he’s planning on making a movie and then doing sequels and prequels. If I’m not mistaken he’s already sold the rights to some big Hollywood hot-shots who will do the film for him.

    @Jeremiah- You make a highly successful webcomic/graphic novel that’s been sold to a film company and then you talk about having a polished strip. Although I usually compliment Bobby, Owen does a truly incredible and praisworthy job as well and I’m sure he doesn’t appreciate his hard work being belittled and nit-picked.

  34. KayRis Says:

    Oops, I guess I hadn’t refreshed before Bobby posted. Sorry.

  35. Bobby Crosby Says:

    “If I’m not mistaken he’s already sold the rights to some big Hollywood hot-shots who will do the film for him.”

    I actually turned down an offer recently (complicated, many reasons). At one point it seemed almost 100% sure that I would take it, because at the time I was just thrilled to actually get an offer for a decent sum of money. Anyway, very complicated, more news on that in coming months.

    “It just seems strange to me that this character which had no worth to live until this point sticks around all this way only to die anyway.”

    He was the character that shows how simple it was for The First Zombie to get his zombies onto international flights on the first day. Mustache Man shows how the world ended, by TFZ “accidentally” scraping his teeth against the skin of people in airports (bathrooms mostly) less than an hour after biting that girl on the beach on Page 4. More on this later in the comic (obviously).

  36. Very Short Sentance Matt Says:

    I enjoy the new page.

  37. Dan Says:

    Another cool strip.

    I am a heavy critic of movies and I just want to offer my personal opinion.

    The one thing I believe most zombie movies do bad is they rush towards the end. What I mean is that the ones who are halfway decent build up a good beginning, but then blow it with a rushed ending that is not as engaging.

    When this comes to the big screens I want to see as an awesome early development as we saw in the comic, but I do not want the middle and the end of the movie to feel rushed. Slow and thorough development is what will make the movie perfect.

    Take 28 Days Later. The build up was definitely good. From the explanation to the main protagonist of his situation, to them meeting the girl and his dad, to the father dying in an unexpected way, to the build up of the true intentions of the soldiers, to the beautifully choreographed manner in which the soldiers were killed, to the final scenes. I think that nothing was particularly rushed. The movie did not suddenly out of no where jump from we are safe to blazing guns and shooting, to an abrupt ending.

  38. Bobby Crosby Says:

    I think “28 Days Later” is one of the 15 or 20 worst movies ever made.

    “I want to see as an awesome early development as we saw in the comic”

    The early development in this comic fucking sucked, in my opinion, and a lot of it will be improved for the screenplay.

    “I do not want the middle and the end of the movie to feel rushed.”

    There will be a lot of changes for the movie. Keep in mind that the average comic page only equals about 30 seconds on screen, as opposed to the average screenplay page that equals one minute on screen. A normal 100 pages of a comic only equals 50 minutes of screen time. I’ve had to remove a lot of scenes and shorten existing scenes and try to pack as much as possible into each page to lengthen the amount of seconds per page.

  39. Cat Says:

    I just went to my comic book store to ask if they have Last Blood and the guy behind the counter had never heard of it and thought it was an anime.
    I just kinda looked at him and went “noo….e_0″
    I’ll be going back when I have the cash to buy the issues that are out and have him order them, probably in the next few weeks or so.

  40. Bobby Crosby Says:

    “I just kinda looked at him and went ‘noo….e_0′ ”

    LOL, nice. That’s a success, then. Gotta get the word out to people who haven’t even heard of it. The third issue is at the printers now and will arrive in stores on Halloween Day actually. Tell him to re-order the first three issues and I think he could get all three in on Halloween actually (not positive, though).

  41. Fieldy409 Says:

    Nice way to surprise us people expecting cliches.

    Quick question, is MM’s blood useless?

  42. Bobby Crosby Says:

    “is MM’s blood useless?”

    Yes. (Been answered before many times.)

  43. Theinen Says:

    Another first time poster. I saw this link on another webcomic I read, and since then, have been telling all my friends about it. Read this page and we all went “FINALLY!!! Somebody gets it!!!!” I mean come on, RE: Apocalypse ALMOST did it with Alice in the graveyard, but didn’t commit. Kudos. This has been pretty good so far, hope it continues. I make my own comics, in the process of doing an ongoing story that I hope to get turned into an anime. One thing some one pointed out to me about one of my earlier characters, was a hole in particular characters.

    Fans won’t care but critics will eat it up. There’s a slight hole in Murdo about to surface. We know he’s ex-military so has weapons training and some hand to hand skills. But military doesn’t exactly teach people how to use swords. Just a simple suggestion, make him somewhat awkward with it, he just likes it because Math kicked ass with it, and just have his newfound vampiric prowess make up for it. Or he could just copy movements he’s seen on movies. Something simple but practical. Just don’t do the whole “Oh yea, didn’t you know? I’m a sword master even though I fought with guns before.”

    Because the issue would come up then of “Well why didn’t he use a sword and save ammo for those who needed it?” Since you have Mac who goes crazy with a hatchet, can’t exactly say it isn’t practical. Again, love the comic, first original zombie idea since Resident Evil. Keep it up man! Kudos again! And how much you paying Owen? Maybe if I offer a dollar more, I can steal’em…. ::goes off to plot more::

  44. Bobby Crosby Says:

    “There’s a slight hole in Murdo about to surface.”

    Murdo was a United States Marine. Marines still have swords as part of their full dress code. To my knowledge, they only use them for drill and ceremonial purposes, and I’m not sure how much training they receive in the use of swords, if any, but Murdo carried a sword for many years and perhaps he did some training of his own. Either way, doesn’t take any training for a strong athlete like Murdo with added super strength as a vampire to simply slice off the heads of zombies. Certainly not a “hole about to surface.”

    “Because the issue would come up then of ‘Well why didn’t he use a sword and save ammo for those who needed it?’ ”

    Didn’t have one and didn’t want to run out and face them at close range and take the chance of getting bitten and turned into a zombie. Save ammo for those who need it? He was the only one who shot any zombies previously, before the vampires arrived, which he did from afar with his sniper rifle (he was a Marine sniper). If he had a sword, perhaps he would have used it. Murdo tells Val on Page 27 that he can handle a sword and that he was in the Marines when he’s asking to use a specific sword in the next attack.

  45. Theinen Says:

    Cool. Guess I overlooked when he told Val that. My mistake. But that was what I was saying, if he DIDN’T have any experience just make him somewhat awkward handling it but his new strength and speed more than make up for it. Wasn’t any criticism just a fellow writer looking out for another. Printed one of my stories (the backstory to the one I’m working on now) in a 15 part series in a local gazette.

    Nothing but positive feedback except from the critics, whose only gripe was that my main character, after his awakening, he’s a half demon I like dealing with demons because there’s no definite set description for them, anyway they complained because his character “changed too quickly”. He was thrown into a street fight and, while not exactly flashy, came out of the battle almost unscathed.

    I would think that after a guy realized there’s alot of latent power that has just come rushing to the surface wouldn’t be afraid of a group of 5 street punks with bats. This was a month AFTER his awakening mind you. Yet they picked that one “hole” and tore at it. Then alot of other “fans” did the same. Just didn’t want to see anybody else make that slight oversight. But you got it covered. So I bow to you good sir. Keep up the good work.

  46. Bobby Crosby Says:

    Thanks, buddy, sounds good. It’s actually pretty easy to chop off the head of someone who’s just standing there, though, if you have a good sword and a decent amount of strength. I’m sure any high school baseball player could do it. Don’t exactly need sword training for it. It’s not like the zombies will have had sword training and will be fighting him with swords of their own or anything. Removing their heads is like taking candy from a baby. The only problem is it’s five billion babies with five billion pieces of candy.

    Also keep in mind that he ran out of ammo early on and his weapon of choice was a SHOVEL, so he obviously didn’t have a sword with him.

  47. Theinen Says:

    One more thing and I just go back to being a silent reader. Murdo and MM doesn’t really matter but was just something I noticed and thought was funny. Was he really just “not taking that chance” or is that just a little pent up aggression towards the guy who was the cause of the deaths of his last living relatives, mom excluded. I can see it now:

    Grady “Murdo! WTF man? Why’d you do that?”
    Math walks on the roof: “What’s going on here?”
    Murdo “He was turning, had to be done”
    Math takes a deep sniff “His blood is fine!”
    Murdo throws a small vial of zombie blood on MM’s decapitated body
    “How about now?”

    lol just a joke of course…..ok I’ll be good now

  48. Bobby Crosby Says:

    Just not taking the chance. Hard to blame Howard, really. He blames himself more than anyone else, and for good reason. He should have been in the gym with the kids, as he told Val recently. Most people hate Howard, though, of course, since he’s a stupid jerk and the principal.

  49. KayRis Says:

    I actually have a question, though I doubt that it has any realy relevance to the story. Was MM actually feeling better, like he was getting some new zombie strength, or was he just lying to escape? I’m pretty sure he was just lying, but I wasn’t sure.

  50. Aquamage Says:

    SHIT YEAH!!!!

    I love murdo’s adittude, he’s a vampire for what 30 min and he’s already kicking zombie ass great story love the violence and realism.

  51. KayRis Says:

    wasn’t *totally* sure.

  52. Orthag Says:

    i have a few things to say…..

    1. Why does it have to end in the 4th issue?

    2. Adison Payne most definitly looks like Agent 47.

    3. If a movie is ever made of this comic Vin Diesel needs to play Adison Payne.

  53. Bobby Crosby Says:

    KayRis: He was just lying, yeah. In the movie it will be obvious that he’s super sick.

    “he’s a vampire for what 30 min”

    Closer to 30 seconds actually. Panel 5 is less than two minutes after Panel 4, and Panel 3 is like three seconds after the end of Page 82.

    “Why does it have to end in the 4th issue?”

    A million reasons, and keep in mind that it’s only the first graphic novel/first film’s story that ends with the fourth issue. The fourth issue was solicited as the end of this first story and it was the plan from the very start for it to go four issues, 112 printed pages, 32 for the first issue, 24 for the second and third, 32 for the fourth. We were hoping the story could end at around the 106 page mark, though, to save us some work and get it done faster, but unfortunately it’s looking more like 120-125 would have been best. We have a ton of work to do now in a very short amount of time. Issue #4 was solicited for November and it will be cancelled by Diamond if it’s not in stores by the end of December, which means we have to go to print by very early December. We have to do 29 pages in the next six and a half weeks, almost five pages per week.

    Another reason is that Owen agreed from the start to do a graphic novel of around 100-110 pages and we’re not sure at this point if he will continue on (if the comic continues on at all, that is). And we don’t need an entire fifth issue to finish the film’s story. Probably would only want 10-15 pages more, really, which doesn’t work, so it has to just be crammed into the fourth issue.

    This is one of the many problems that arise when you don’t write the whole comic beforehand.  The biggest problem is that the writing is a lot worse when you do that, but other problems include bad pacing throughout the story and not knowing exactly how many pages you need to tell it.

  54. Ro Guevara Says:

    Found your web comic by accident….Freakin awesome keep it up… Did the download thing from wowio…Hope you guys score a movie deal.
    Love the last panel. Would like to see the vampires to be some sort of shapeshifters (a la drake from Blade Trinity or something)

  55. Crow Says:

    I think this was well-written. Though the transition between panels 5, 6 & 7 were a little awkward. Although I like how it turned out, I can see why a few people were complaining. All in all, great work guys, as usual :)

  56. Necavi D. Omnes Says:

    I cackled.


  57. Kevin Carlson Says:

    Umm…how many Vampires to humans are there now?

  58. Bobby Crosby Says:

    30 humans, 30-50 vampires — haven’t decided how many vamps there are. Think of them like the population of the “Lost” island — never really know how many people are there.

  59. fieldy409 Says:

    Hey out of curiousity what was MM gonna do to be a hero? or is that too much spoiler?

  60. achrin Says:

    killing him outright would lop off a fair amount of comic book panels .. so to speak….as it was he was to close for comfort to both the watchers neck and turning .. at least as far as i was concerned … a most sensible reaction on murdos part , something that leaves people wondering WHY they kept a problem within their ranks rather than getting rid of it… interesting how the vampires can sense the state of change in the bitten ones .. just (minutes/half hour) as being a vampire and he just knows it…. i guess it goes along with the teeth and jaw modifications

  61. Cyclops Says:

    Bobby Crosby Says: October 16th, 2007 at 1:43 pm:
    “I think “28 Days Later” is one of the 15 or 20 worst movies ever made.”

    I wonder why do you think this.
    Because I agree with Dan that “28 Days Later” is one of the better movies.
    It also makes me wonder which other horror movies are on your worst/best top ten list.

  62. Szyronn Says:


  63. Alice Says:

    Murdo’s mouth is huuuge. :o

  64. mark Says:

    Bye-Bye Moustashe Man!

  65. Crow Says:

    *raises hand to forehead, salutes* Lest we forget…

  66. Jakers Says:

    OMFG! this comic is so awesome my bro told me about it and i got hooked instantly really hope u get a movie deal and also i didnt like “28 days later” either really cheesie and annoying

  67. Tegu Says:


  68. Dersi Says:

    “I hate it in movies when the characters are always so fucking retarded and allow dangerous things to happen and bad guys or potential bad guys to live and it always bites ‘em in the ass and somebody dies because of it”

    OMG, I love you. Finally someone has the sense to make a comment at that idiotic-clichesque-stupid-good for nothing idea that some movies has. I really, rally HATE it. You should add a line in the movie about that.

  69. ModdyPride Says:

    Guess this means no hammer or axe beatings…

  70. Gary Says:

    wow i’ve been reading and it’s really great so far. Thumbs up :D and murdo looks wicked.

  71. moe Says:

    Grady should solve this witha basketball tournament with tfz…… but the basketball tournament would be played with moustache mans head.

  72. Atan Says:

    giant fangs ACHIEVED!!!!! i would have done that too, but first let him drink a bottle of scotch you know :)

    btw I would let her bite me too, it’s what i would really want to be + you can help better

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